Sometime last year a friend approached me. He was clearly angry and upset. He talked about what could be done practically to hamper—even destroy—the pornography industry. I could tell that his frustration was not just about witnessing the struggles with pornography of other people, but of himself as well. I wrote him an email to encourage him. With permission (and anonamised, with slight modifications), I am sharing this email below.

Our fight is not against flesh and blood (or circuits and cables), but against the dark forces that are unseen. When you start proposing censorship, you usually are on the wrong track. Censorship will lead to rebellion. And people will always find a way to beat the system; I guarantee it.

One needs to address the issues yourself, including the underlying issue of why you seek out porn. I know you argue that the problem is that porn is too accessible, but I think that problem is that porn is not considered so disgusting that people willingly avoid it. How is porn disgusting? This poem gives a good indication of the effects which porn can have on a marriage. And there is the issue of the porn stars. They usually are in dire straits; or started off in such a way. They are at risk of STDs. Some of them are addicted to drugs (often a tool used to ensure their subservience). Millions of people (not just one person sitting in his darkened room with the door closed) gawk at each and every girl/boy. They are sold, spent. There is no special bond between the viewer and the girl/boy as is sometimes imagined. There is only hollowness.

The way to beat porn is to humanise porn stars and prostitutes. Think about how each and every one of them have feelings, insecurities, hurts and joys (which are not sexual). They are people. God's people. Created in His image and loved by Him. Who are you or I to take advantage of them, even if they flaunt themselves in our faces? Even if looking at porn on the Internet seems harmless to them (because there is not real or physical interaction), remember that demand drives the supply.

The fight against porn will not be won by our technological savvy or our sheer force of will. It will be won by the grace of God.

If you do want to fight porn, please make me a solemn promise. If you one day have children, talk to them about it. Long before they reach puberty, when they have not even started school yet, tell them that there are men and women who are lied to, who feel like they have no choice but to do bad things. We need to love and pray for these people without helping and enabling them. Teach your children that love and sex are beautiful things, but that other people destroyed that beauty for these people. And that your children should not have a part in destroying that beauty. Fight the fight from the ground up, so that it will look different for your children than it looks for us.

As for other people who are here and now... their problem is not the porn. It is that they don't know the love of Christ and exactly how great it is.

I am thankful that my friend did take some encouragement from this letter.

Much has been written on the topic of pornography from a Christian perspective. Many1 have discuss the topic better than I can, so I won't delve into the topic too much at this time. I just want to add that the poem which I linked to above was not just a perceived victimisation from an over-emotional woman. There is a science behind the man's reaction. There are also people who have realised the detrimental effects (physical as well as emotional) which pornography has had on them and are voluntarily quitting it. Point is, this is not merely a moral issue, but a health (psychological) issue as well.

• 1. Challies—who posted the poem to which I linked earlier—sometimes discusses the topic. The Resurgence has also produced material on the subject. There are many more.